what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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