She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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