fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
