you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
