Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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