Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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