I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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