How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
