If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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