i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize