after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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