How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
