I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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