you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
