Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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