Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
no, he came in my armpit
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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