I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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