Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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