we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
