the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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