Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
