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She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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