Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize