How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
