so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
