if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
