During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
