If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize