it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
