My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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