My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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