omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
