When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
