it wasn't lemon gatorade
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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