and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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