Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
