dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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