she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
