there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize