went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
