my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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