They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
