Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
