i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have feelings that need drinking.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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