Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My ATM looks so different sober.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
