so that wasnt chicken after all
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
