Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
