So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
