Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
