hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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