I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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