It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
