This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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