when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
