I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
