where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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