The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
