dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
