I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
