I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
