No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
